Learning to Love

Your heart is pounding. Sweat beads up all over you. Your tongue has become sandpaper,

and you can’t catch your breath. And when the contact finally happens, electricity arcs

between each other’s hands.


Being in love is the greatest feeling – it is truly a high.


Every moment together is breathtaking and exotic, and even intoxicating. You can’t help

but look into her eyes, touch her, hear her voice say your name. You long for it, even when

she’s right in front of you.


And when you are apart, you feel like every second is agonizingly long and dull. Nothing

matters except getting back to her, and back to that feeling.


She can do no wrong – and you can’t do enough to show her how she’s making you feel.

You get the door; you pull her aside to kiss her in crowded places; you light candles,

arrange flowers, and listen to what she wants through her eyes, her body language, and

her smile.


Being in love is the greatest feeling.


Loving someone is hard work.


She has a bad cold, and has been holed up in the bedroom for two days. Her oversized

glasses are on, along with two sweatshirts that turn her into a sniffling blob. She doesn’t

want kisses – she wants you to get her another blanket. She doesn’t ask for another glass

of wine – she asks for another glass of water.


She’s worried about her family, and wants you to take her to them RIGHT NOW, even

though you just got settled in for a long-overdue date night. You pause the movie, set

aside the fresh popcorn, and look into her eyes. Can’t it wait? You’ve needed this too after

your long day.


You’re trying to remember all ten things she mentioned before she left for her weekend

trip. You fed her cat, took out the garbage – were you supposed to water that leafy

monstrosity, or is that the one that hates water and sunshine? You notice the letter she

forgot to mail on the counter, and that the dishes are starting to overflow the sink.


Loving someone takes commitment and patience. It isn’t something you can decide and be

done with. Saying the words “I love you” doesn’t make it easier to forgive her when she

lies to you, and hurts you. Buying her a diamond ring doesn’t give you the resolve to help

her deal with her mom yelling at her, and the bad mood it puts her in for a week.


“Falling in love” is an apt way of putting it – because it’s as easy as letting yourself fall.

But you can only reach a certain point by being in love. The next step begins when you

realize that you want to be with the person even when those initial feelings are absent.

You have to work hard at it every day, and twice as hard when you’re having a bad day.


But if you do work on it, and she works on it too, you can transcend all of the magical

feelings of being in love.


Loving someone, and being loved back, is more than just a feeling. It is peace; your heart

can rest, knowing someone is protecting it. It is courage; knowing that there is one person

who will never leave your side in a fight. It is selflessness; that they’re your other half.


You may fall out of love sometimes. There will be arguments, pain, and other trying

circumstances. But those feelings will never go away. Years later, her laugh will still give

you butterflies. The mundane routine of every day life will not stop you from stealing

kisses in a crowded place. And when you look into her eyes, you will always see the eyes

that drew you in, stole your breath, and filled your heart in the first place.

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